I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
