I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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