i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
