Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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