walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
barbara walters just said penis...
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
