She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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