dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
