how can u be prego again
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
