I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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