I bet he comes in French.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
