your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Walk of Shame today included voting.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It's never too late to be topless.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
