I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
