No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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