Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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