remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
