Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
My bed smells like the plague
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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