Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
