I wish I could punch you in the face.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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