No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
