The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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