chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
