what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
