Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
