i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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