I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
