I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
