Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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