Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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