Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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