there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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