Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
