I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
