I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I would ride that face into the sunset
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
