Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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