you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
