I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
