Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
