whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
