this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
