I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
