I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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