dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
