he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Dear god my vagina.
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