i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
