Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
