dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
