OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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