that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
