He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
