Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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